Welcome to the world of Primmie Darling, a pretty twenty-something masseuse whose special services propel her to the heart of the British government. Here, she finds her sexual horizons widening to include politicians and rock stars, media moguls and footballers, Hollywood actors and Russian oligarchs. But all Primmie really wants is love, and as she embarks on her journey of sexual discovery, she learns that love can be found in the most surprising of places…
Funny, sexy, racy, each book contains three new stories. The Sexual Misadventures of Primmie Darling is published every month on Amazon Kindle.
Book One (published February 2013)
In the Corridors of Power
Primmie is intrigued by her new massage client, an elegant and clearly wealthy blonde. When she offers her special services, the woman readily accepts, and is so pleased with the result she invites Primmie to make home calls. It’s only later that Primmie realises just how famous the home she’ll be visiting really is…
Behind Closed Doors
Primmie is becoming indispensable to Nixie Dorchester, wife of the British Prime Minister, who has no fashion sense and whose icy Swiss demeanour has alienated the all-important British press. Keen to establish a full-time role, Primmie needs the approval of Jerek Winston, the PM’s openly gay media spokesman, who wrongfoots her with a revelation of his own. When a nervous Nixie has to make a speech at a charity function, she calls upon Primmie’s special calming technique to help her.
Primmie meets camp celebrity hairstylist Sven-Mikael and realises that he isn’t everything he seems. While accompanying Jerek to an elite and very secretive sex party, she discovers there’s a whole lot more to reviled EU commissioner Richard de Castellane than the press has ever mentioned, and determines to make use of his assets…
Book Two (published March 2013)
Primmie gets to meet EU commissioner Richard de Castellane, the man whose enormous dimensions she’s been longing to get to grips with. While he would like to get to know his pretty conquest better, she is only concerned with one thing, and it doesn’t involve EU relations…
From Russia with Lust
When a Russian oligarch visits Number Ten, Primmie, who speaks his language, realises he’s expecting Prime Minister Simon Dorchester to smooth over a planning permission problem in exchange for his generous donation. In trying to talk him out of the extravagant designs he has for his new London HQ, a stuck lift provides the dramatic backdrop for Primmie’s persuasions…
A Budget Day Surprise
On the evening before Budget Day Nixie Dorchester prepares a surprise birthday party for her husband, at which Primmie falls for an old friend of his. Caught up in a moment of passion, Primmie has no idea that he is plotting against the Chancellor of the Exchequer, his childhood rival, and that they are about to make headlines for all the wrong reasons…
Book Three (published April 2013)
Blame It On Mick Jagger
Despite getting a very special trim from celebrity hairstylist and on-off lover Sven-Mikael, Primmie’s first date with parliamentary under-secretary Mungo Robinson, the man she’s determined to marry, doesn’t go quite as she’d imagined, but leaves her wanting a whole lot more…
Up Close and Personal
Things hot up for Primmie in the Jacuzzi she shares with award-winning BBC correspondent Reilly Grainger, a woman who’s reported from war zones, revolutions and refugee camps. Now promoting her autobiography, she’s committed, fiery and passionate, and she secretly craves girl-on-girl action.
DayGlo at Night
At a charity function, Primmie meets Daymon and Gloriana Woods, Britain’s most famous footballer and his lingerie model wife, collectively known as DayGlo. Primmie is flattered when the heavily-pregnant Gloriana suggests a drink together away from the paparazzi lenses. But in their hotel suite, the couple reveal far more than she’d been expecting.
Book Four (published May 2013)
Nixie is blooming with early pregnancy. Representing a fertility charity, she and Primmie attend the Chelsea Flower Show, where the garden display is of a beautiful, feminine bedroom, like something out of a fairytale. But is the ruggedly handsome gardener behind the designs Primmie’s new prince?
Primmie runs into her former lover Sasha, who is involved in a new form of mysticism called Inner Adulation. Primmie attends an extra-deep meditation in order to commune with her Higher Self, only to be surprised at just how far she’s being taken. In need of sexual relief, she turns to EU Commissioner Richard de Castellane, who’s in town for one night.
Simon Dorchester hosts an important reception for global media baron Keith Tucker, whose approval he desperately needs to win a second term. During the dinner they discuss bold new initiatives, while Primmie, wearing her power pendant gift from Richard de Castellane, makes a few bold suggestions herself. Under the table, meanwhile, Tucker’s Thai beauty queen wife Isra is making a bold gesture of her own.
Book Five (published 20th June 2013)
Primmie stays late one evening helping Nixie select her pregnancy outfits before running into new policy head Ellis Clark in the Cabinet Room. He’s angry about her policy suggestions being taken seriously, and as the heat between them intensifies, their passion explodes all over the Cabinet table.
After a tussle in the Downing Street closet with Ellis Clark, Primmie attends Royal Ascot with Nixie, where she runs into a wealthy childhood friend of hers. As well as an excellent insider’s tip, he gives her a lot more than she bargains for in his luxury horsebox, only metres away from where the Queen is visiting.
While watching the Wimbledon Men’s Finals with Sven-Mikael, Primmie and he enjoy a jug of Pimm’s with some strawberries and clotted cream. As the match turns into a five set thriller, any excitement on court is easily surpassed off it…
Book Six (published 9th July 2013)
With the summer recess fast approaching Primmie still hasn’t got any plans for her holidays. Sven-Mikael’s in Sweden and Mungo’s following the Ashes series, leaving Primmie unsure of what to do. Then one idyllic summer evening Ellis Clark persuades her to have a drink, and, clearly keen on a pre-wedding fling, begs her to come up with more policy ideas. Primmie is happy to oblige, and as the heat rises between them, her suggestions become as outrageous as their activities.
Rooting for Australia
Listening to Handel’s Messiah in his old Volkswagen, Mungo gets carried away and Primmie starts to believe they might have a future after all. But days later he regrets his moment of weakness, and Primmie decides she’s had enough. Feeling high-spirited and rebellious, she meets a group of Australians and lets off some of her pent-up sexual steam with them. Little does she know that her actions have been, well, just not cricket!
The Rock Star
On holiday with her parents in the south of France, Primmie meets Irish rocker and humanitarian Drift, whose villa is next door to theirs. When Primmie inadvertently upsets him, Drift finds a way to humiliate her, but with the help of Declan, his good looking personal assistant, she quickly recovers to enjoy some al-fresco action in the swimming pool. As she sneaks home the next morning, however, Primmie is given the surprise of her life…
Primmie Darling will return with more sexual misadventures after the summer recess.